Deleted Scene- Brian and the Drummer

The fun part of writing is discovering a characters voice, life, and emotions in order to tell their story. When I’m deep into a characters mindset, they tap me on the shoulder to share their personal opinions on how a scene should be written, what their actions should be, and whether or not what I planned to happen makes sense.


On more than one occasion, Brian Young, the hero in my debut novel, A Heart Not Easily Broken, has stepped in and put me, the author, on the right path. Brian knows what he wants and has no problems making his intentions known. Here’s an example of one of those times. While this is a great scene and gives insight to his mind, it didn’t fit the setup of the first chapter of the book. But, it works great here! Enjoy!

Deleted Scene:


“Yo, Brian, where are you going, man? We don’t have a long break.”

I turned to face Derrick, Diverse Nation’s drummer, and my friend since college. “Did you see her? The woman in the little black dress?” My attention went back to the crowded dance floor. Even though we’d stopped playing, it was still packed. Bodies gyrating to the DJ’s choice of music continued to block my view.

“You’re kidding, right?”

I shot Derrick a momentary glance as I lifted the strap of my guitar from around my neck. I knew where this was about to go. Irritation flooded me.

“You’re talking about the black woman, right?” Derrick continued.

“Yeah. What’s your point?” I turned my back on him and focused on the dance floor. Which way did she go?

As if the heavens heard my question, strobe lights shot out into the club as the DJ shouted out the crowd, illuminating the woman who’d stolen my attention.

Long dark wavy hair rested on bare shoulders of a caramel body wrapped in a sheath of black.  The fabric clung to every curve of her voluptuous figure, wearing it like a second skin. The material stopped just below her hips; shapely thighs and amazing calves ended in a pair of open-toe heels.

My body’s response was automatic.

“Brian, man, don’t go there. I’m in no mood to stop a fight tonight.”

I locked on my target. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about every last brother on the floor that’s jockin’ her. You make a move and someone’s gonna step to you and put you in your place.” Derrick blocked my path to the steps leading down from the stage, his hand resting on my shoulder. “I’ve got plans with my lady tonight. Spending the night in jail for keepin’ your ass out of trouble isn’t in the cards.”

My fist balled. I was sick and tired of everything coming down to race. Just because I was missing melanin in my skin didn’t mean I had no right to talk to a woman I was attracted to.

I shrugged off his grip and headed down the steps leading to the dance floor. My intention; follow the footsteps of the caramel vixen.

“I could care less about what anyone thinks, D. I can handle my own. I want her. Before the end of the night, she will be mine.”


4 thoughts on “Deleted Scene- Brian and the Drummer

  1. Pingback: The Butterfly Memoirs- Contest and Book Review! | M. J. Kane

  2. I see why you took this out of the story. But I do love the fact I still got to see inside his head about the still major point of race in relationships.

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